im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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