I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My pussy is not your playground.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We need to get me chipped asap
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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