Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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