Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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