This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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