i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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