i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
