okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
