It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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