I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
