i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
only if we run a train.
done.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
