am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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