I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
