Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
