I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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