my vag is so smooth its legendary
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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