mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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