I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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