it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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