I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
