is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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