Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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