Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
