All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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