why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
