my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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