I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
