Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
