we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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