You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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