After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
