Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
