ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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