This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
