I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize