Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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