we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
