Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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