how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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