I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
