I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
