I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
