what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
