The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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