his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
