I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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