i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
