we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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