omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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