so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
