I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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