I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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