Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
