just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
