im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
operation have a gay friend backfired
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
