during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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