sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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