So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
