i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
