I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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