I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
