hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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