She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
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I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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